Secrets of the Heart
by Annonie
Summary: Sacrifice comes in many different forms. When a secret is involved, both parties will pay the price. Sam and Jess.


**Author's Note: **This is a response to a challenge brought on by the SFTCOL(AR)S board.

Theme: "Sacrifice and Strength" 100-1500 words.

Exactly 1500 words without the quote...and the A/N of course.

I don't think I caught the theme, because it was supposed to be Sam's sacrifice and strength for his family, loved ones, and strangers. And I tried to show that through someone else's point of view. But I don't think it came across. Oh well, I'm still proud of it because it is my first fic with Jess. Please tell me if you like my characterization of her. And, as always, be honest.

**Secrets of the Heart**

_The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart._

_-Saint Jerome _

He was late. Sam was a lot of things, but late was never one of them. At first, Jess thought maybe he forgot. He was a bit forgetful sometimes, always focused on one thing and completely forgetting the other. But then she remembered how long they planned and looked forward to this night. This evening to themselves. They both called off work just to make sure nothing got in the way.

And while Sam _did _forget a lot of things, he would never forget their one year anniversary.

Jess started to get worried when a half an hour had come and gone. She turned off the oven, blew out the candles, and called every contact in her phone book. Everyone said the exact same thing: they thought he was home with her celebrating.

That was the plan at least.

He was now over an hour and a half late, and Jess had no idea where he was. Ever since they moved in together two month ago, Sam had been nothing but considerate. He always called when he got caught up in something else, whether it was an essay or driving Simon home from the bar. He would tell her to go to bed and not to wait up.

Jess always waited anyway. But he didn't need to know that.

It had almost been two hours and she was getting worried. Scratch that, she was worried an hour and a half ago, now she was getting _frantic. _Something must have happened to him. He could be lost somewhere, needing her help, and all she was doing was waiting around the apartment, basing the turkey and nervously polishing the silverware.

She always fidgeted when she was nervous. Her hands were practically shaking when the clock chimed ten o'clock. She reached towards her phone again, still not sure who she was going to call, but anything had to be better than pacing around, constantly looking at the clock.

She reached the C's in her contact list when the door suddenly opened.

"Sam?!" Jess said without even looking. She whirled around to find the one man she desperately wanted, the man she _needed_, standing in the doorway covered head to toe in dirt.

"Oh my God, Sam, what happened?! Are you hurt?" she exclaimed as she rushed to him. _Please don't be hurt, please don't be hurt_. She didn't know what she would do if someone harmed him and all she was doing was cooking and cleaning like a 1950s housewife.

One thing was for sure, she would have to kill whoever dared to hurt him. She may not be a master in Tae Kwon Do, but she did know a couple moves that would send any man to his knees cowering in pain. Well, at least one in particular.

"Jess! I'm so sorry," Sam immediately panted, obviously out of breath. He looked down at her with the most adorable hazel eyes she had ever seen.

That was just like Sam, come home looking like he got trampled on, and then apologize for being late. It would infuriate her if he wasn't so damn sincere. "Sam, I don't care that you're late," she said incredulously. "What happened?"

"I was at the bar with Simon, just for a celebratory drink before I came here. Some guy tried to pick a fight with him outside. Well, you know Simon, never one to give up a challenge, but then this guy's buddies decided to join the fight, and I had to get in there to pull Simon out of it. Luckily, no one got hurt though," Sam said with a practiced ease, even though his eyes kept on glancing at the ground.

He pulled out his phone out of his pocket. The screen was cracked and the keypad was smashed. "Some guy stepped on it during the midst of it all," he said as he looked up apologetically.

Jess studied the phone for a second before looking back up at Sam. "I called Simon. He has work tonight," she said, barely above a whisper. She would have been angrier if she wasn't so confused. Obviously something had happened, why wasn't Sam telling her the truth?

Sam was immediately thrown off by that. "What?" he asked, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

"I called Simon almost two hours ago. He said he was on his way to work." Jess never blinked. She didn't want to miss a moment. Nothing made sense. It was their anniversary and Sam came home covered in dirt with some bullshit story about Simon.

Sam nervously scratched the back of his neck. "I...I guess he called off then," he stammered, his gaze purposefully avoiding Jess's face.

"No, he didn't." Jess looked back down at the phone. "What happened?" She suddenly caught the whiff of something that wasn't turkey or the lingering scent of burning candles. "Is that gasoline I smell?" She took a step towards Sam, her nose mere inches from his tattered shirt. "Sam, why do you smell like gas?"

Sam instantly sidestepped her, his long legs being him a good foot and a half away from her. "I-I don't know what you're talking about."

She stepped closer to him, her high heels clicking on the floor. "What happened?" her voice now taking a definite edge.

Sam stared down at his feet, looking like an overgrown kid who just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He then raised his head and looked her straight in the eye for the first time that evening. "I can't tell you."

Her rage finally boiled over. There were so many secrets with Sam. Too many. If this relationship was ever going to work, he was going to have to start opening up..._now. _

"Why the hell not?! What's so important that you can't tell me?" she screamed, throwing her hands up in a fury as she stormed around the room.

"Jess, can't we just sit down and enjoy what's left of our dinner?" Sam asked as he motioned towards the table.

Jess pivoted, tears of frustration in her eyes. "No, Sam, not this time." She walked towards him and placed a hand on his arm. "Look, I can deal with a lot of things. I know you lie about your family." Sam immediately looked up at that. "But that's okay," she continued, her words rushing out of her mouth. She didn't want to push him about that topic today. She tried before, and she knew it would just shut him down. "That's in the past. I don't need to know. I know you'll tell me when you're ready. But if we want this to work, you need to start being honest with me."

Sam's brow furrowed in that adorable way that she loved. It didn't happen often, the boy always seemed to know everything, but when it did it just reminded her of how much she loved him. "My family? I didn't-"

She immediately cut him off. "You haven't seen them since I've met you. You don't even talk about them. Hell, I don't even know if you have any siblings," she admitted sadly. She wasn't angry about the secrets there. She knew he kept those for a reason. But she couldn't let him keep secrets where she was involved.

Sam looked at her for a second, his eyes searching hers. "I visited them just six months ago...for Thanksgiving. Remember?"

Jess slowly let her head drop. "I accidentally found your Denny's receipt. I know you stayed on campus."

"Oh..." Sam breathed, his cheeks quickly becoming red.

Jess quickly noticed his embarrassment and placed a hand over his flushed cheek. "It's okay. You can visit my family from now on. They loved you at Christmas."

Sam slightly smiled at that. "Okay," he muttered has he rested his cheek against her palm.

"Will you now tell me what happened tonight?" she asked, her eyebrows rose in question.

He seemed to clench his teeth at the question. His eyes met hers, and for a moment she could have sworn he looked like he was about to cry. "I'm sorry. I can't," he breathed.

She expected that answer, but she dreaded it..._hated _it. She moved her hand away from his check and swallowed. "Okay," she said. "Well, I'm going to bed. Turkey's in the oven." She walked towards their bedroom.

She didn't know what to do next. She didn't want to do anything drastic without some time to think about it. She knew from the moment she met him Sam always put everyone else first. Whatever he wasn't telling her it was for a reason. But she also knew, eventually, that hidden reason would be good enough. She just had to decide if that time had come.

When she reached the bedroom, no matter how hard she tried she couldn't help but slam the door.

Sam remained motionless, unsure what to do.

"I have a brother," he finally whispered at the closed door.


End file.
